Self-Esteem

I have a paper due in 12 hours that I’m only half don with. And it’s past midnight. So I thought I’d write a blog post.

What about self-esteem?

Growing up, our family never held a high view of this “self-esteem” idea. Why should we have a high esteem for ourselves? Are we really that great? Surely not. We are miserable sinners; we aren’t that great. Isn’t it wrong to think of ourselves as better than we are? That’s a whole load of overconfident bologna.

Worst part is that society loves to push it. They love to talk about how this self-centered view of the world is a good thing. They love to talk about how it’s good to be arrogant. They love to talk about how it’s desirable to cling to a self-image that is false.

It’s just a dumb, dumb, dumb thing.

But I don’t know.

Certainly it’s bad to be over-confident, but isn’t it good to be confident? There are insecure people in the world. I talk to them all the time. There are two aspects about them that I see most. They always talk about themselves, and they avoid anything and everyone that make them seem inadequate.

They talk about themselves because other people wont. They brag about what they can do, their impressive collections, or their cool friends. You know, the ones that you never met, so they’re my friend, only my friend, and not yours, so their coolness rubs off on me, and not on you. They’ll do anything for attention. (They’ll even do all those dorky moves on the dance floor at weddings, just so people will look at them.)

If they had a little confidence, if they had a little self-esteem, they wouldn’t feel so insecure. They would understand, not that they are great, so why worry, but that everything is okay. They’ll be able to focus on other people. The other people will appreciate not having every conversation hijacked to talk about how Bob is such an authority (or whatever) and they’ll want to be Bob’s friend.

Well, they’ll want to be his friend so long as he doesn’t threaten them. To be more accurate, so long as they don’t perceive him as a threat.

This could take any form really. They might think Bob is better at sports, or maybe Bob is more popular, or many he’s more hansom. Whatever it is, they must think the person is better than themselves at something they think is their specialty.

“Max is getting a better biology grade than me! That can’t be, I’m a Bio major, and he’s a dumb jock.” “She can’t get that role in the play! I always play the lead! She’s only a freshman.”

They’ll deny, or make excuses about facts. “I was sick, I wasn’t running at my full speed, etc.” They avoid reality; they avoid anything or anyone that makes them seem inadequate.

If these people had a little self-esteem, they wouldn’t be so obnoxious. If they had self-esteem, they wouldn’t have to try so hard to prop themselves up, and would be able to focus more on others. Having some self-esteem would make them self-less, not self-centered.

They need to know that it’s all cool.

Lamentation

Always try and see the best in people.

They might be wrong sometimes, not just in what they say, but in personality. They might have a disposition that isn’t perfect. But, no one is perfect. Not even myself. So why look at them as wrong? That will only cause pain. That will only cause frustration. That will only cause depression.

So why put yourself through that?

Look at them as someone who simply has a different disposition. Yes, they might be a little bit of a jerk, but don’t dwell on that. Don’t look at them as wrong; look at them as mistaken. As someone who hasn’t figured it out yet. And most importantly, see how you match up.

Always try and see the best in people.

Yet this is hard to do, when people don’t see the best in each other.

There are people, certain people, who always over-analyze the situation. Every time you engage in conversation with them, you can see them picking apart everything you say. Looking, evaluating, and deciding. Picking out exactly why you are wrong; picking out exactly what makes you horrible. Every time their eyes sweep the room, they are sad at how everything is terrible. And they do it all with a smile.

That is: they lie about it.

Their eyes clearly despise you, their eyes clearly are tired of people, their eyes look a little depressed, and their eyes are not looking at the best in people. Yet, their body language conveys a sense of happiness. Their facial expression perks up when you enter the room, except the void in their eyes, which grows dull. They want to put the best construction on things. They want to see the best in people.

But they don’t. They can’t.

They make up by pretending to be happy to see people. People they don’t particularly like. People they have so many problems with. Their body language says, “you are my friend,” while their eyes say, “you are socially inept,” “you need to grow up,” “you annoy me.”

Be careful when they are girls. An analyzing eyes portrays a sense of intelligence, and a smile is the prettiest ornament a girl can wear. intelligent and beautiful. Beware.

These girls will be the smartest and prettiest girls you know.

Always try and see the best in people.